I’m looking out my kitchen window at the contents of my kitchen.
The angel food cake pan I made Rebecca’s first birthday cake in.
My grandmother’s loaf pan with that great star pattern.
The pasta maker we originally thought was the worst wedding present ever but went on to throw fabulous pasta making parties where you make your guests make their own dinner.
The rolling pin my mother in law bought for me when Ryan and I were 22.
Oh sigh. The tough part about Rebecca and I being diagnosed with celiac isn’t the food, it’s the stuff.
Scrap that, it’s the memories that go along with the stuff.
The whisk that makes pancakes, the pastry brush, oh hell the pastry knife is out there too. The cutting boards, the wooden spoon.
They are all out there on the back porch.
I’ve given away the toaster, the pizza cutter, the things I can’t clean. I’ve been cleaning for days. I vacuumed, I scrubbed, I went at the pastry pin and vintage tins with a tooth brush, I gave away a third of our pantry and I give up. There was flour along the edges of the drawers, suspicious oats under the cutlery. What’s left can just sit out there for a few weeks while I decide what pieces to salvage and what lovely new cutting boards I should treat us to.
The issue really isn’t the food, it’s all the food that’s been made in this kitchen. I cook, I love to cook, my kitchen is my happy place. I don’t mind the challenge of removing gluten from our diets. It’s actually a relief after all the things we’ve gone without while trying to unravel this puzzle. It’s the cleaning is a little much. There is flour on the edge on all my drawers from when the mixer pooffed up a fine mist and I smiled thinking it was fun. Those brownies that made a cloud of flour around the coffee maker? I think I’ve finally got it all.
I’ve stripped the cast iron of ten years worth of grilled sandwiches and weekend breakfasts. This set the oven on fire and Rebecca, being the three year old that she is decided that that was the moment to ask for a snack.
Rebecca falls asleep listing off the donuts she would like to eat. She can describe them all; fluffy donuts, sprinkles, sparkles, maybe some pink and blue ones? She says they are behind glass and asks if she can just polish it. She also says beautiful things; “I feel great!” “Wheat makes my belly hurt, I no eat wheat, I eat my own Becca snacks”. She plays a game where she’s a waitress who only serves gluten free treats; “may I have a cup of tea please?” she squeals “Here’s your tea, it’s gluten-free!”.
Slowly but surely we’re on a mend and my spring cleaning is coming to a close. My mother brought over a new pasta maker, we successfully ordered gluten free pizza, we’re headed tothe ND this afternoon for some guidance, and I think once we get a fresh coat of paint around my kitchen window we will be off to a fresh start.
I love your posts! THey make me smile 😀
Btw i got Rhubarb seeds form cubits a few months ago, now its time to use them, any tips to make them grow? Becaise i didnt have luck in the past …. also i know your seeds have magiz and they will grow amazing
Ashard as it is…. I’m glad you found some answers. Cheers to new beginnings!
I just stumbled across your blog this morning someone on my newsfeed had posted a link on facebook to your tomato seed saving post. Awesome information, thanks for that
I’m also Celiac, diagnosed in 2009, at age 42. I suffered for pretty much my entire life up til that point, and yes, it’s kind of sad, but believe me, when your body starts to heal and you feel so much better, you won’t miss it. You obviously love food, and you love cooking, and gardening and fresh natural foods. This is the best thing to do for your body right now. Stay away from manufactured “gluten free” foods, (no matter what your ND might say) and just eat foods that are naturally free from gluten. There is so much food out there. Make new recipes and new memories. Don’t think about what you can’t eat, think of all the wonderful things that you can eat. Grains are highly overrated anyway! They’re just vehicles to get yummy food into your face. Cut out the middle-food so to speak and enjoy life.
Thanks so much Rebecca. We are starting to feel better and it is a total relief to have figured this out.
I’m so glad you liked the seed saving post, thanks for letting me know how you found my site.
Hugs to you! It’s the first bit that’s the hard part. Soon you won’t even think about it and not eating gluten will be no big deal (at home at least).
Hi, loved your pics and postings on going gluten free and club foot…I too have dealt with both. Diagnosed 3 years ago with celiacs after my 3rd child and then found out during my 20 week ultrasound that not only were we not having a girl either but a boy and he had a right clubbed foot. I saw your link on the cf site on Facebook and loved the pics of your son! Beautiful family and posts
I too love to cook and at first I was nostalgic about all those things my daughter’s and I couldn’t have Now I love to find new gluten free recipes to try.. Don’t miss gluten at all.. It’s an adventure..
In case you don’t know about these awesome flourless peanut butter cookies yet : )
Give them a try:
http://www.parenting.com/gallery/healthy-kids-snacks?pnid=104879
What a beautiful, heartfelt post. It’s such a difficult transition. A loss, for sure. Much to be gained, but a loss nonetheless. Gorgeous post.
Heidi xo